When I first met Chris I remember walking into his condo and seeing this magnet on his fridge. “Do something every day that scares you.” Fast forward 4.5 years later (actually as I write this I realize we have been together 4.5 years to the day – happy half-year 1st date anniversary to my husband) and I still look at that magnet every day. Since our fridge can’t hold magnets (the one downfall of stainless steel) it sits on the corner of our bulletin board. Tucked between the garbage schedule, our favorite pizza place and pictures from last year’s New Years Eve, sits the piece of advice that resonates more with me right now that I ever thought possible.
Do something every day that scares you.
Well, I’m here to tell you that I have been scared every day this week. And as of tomorrow at 5, things are about to get a whole lot scarier. See, back here I alluded to good things happening and they did. Very good things. I was offered an incredible job. Still with my same company so don’t think I’m all the sudden packing up and moving, but with an entirely different group. And the fact that tomorrow is my last day with the team of people I’ve spent the last 5.5 years of my life with both terrifies and thrills me at the same time.
I’m terrified to leave my comfort bubble – this place where every day when I go into work I know exactly what to do and who to do it with. I’m terrified to start over. To be the low girl on the totem pole. To have to make new friends. To start an entirely new routine. The last 5.5 years have been amazing. I have learned so much and really become the woman I am today. This wasn’t my first job out of college but it was the job where I learned what I’m good at and what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was at this place that I’ve met some of my best friends. It was through this team that I met a woman who later would become one of my bridesmaids. It was with this team that I met a guy I liked so much I invited him on a trip to Vegas and it was on that trip that he met his future wife. It was with this group that I took my first trip to Europe. It was with this group that I met an amazing fellow WSU Cougar who has worked right next to me for almost the entire 5.5 years, where we shared stories of dating our boyfriends who became our fiancés who became our husbands and just recently for her, became the father of her child. It was because of the people on this team that I’m a member of a once a month dinner club. It was because of a friend on this team that I became interested in photography and started blogging. It was through this team that I became fast friends with the woman who sat in front of me, who I hope is part of my life for a long time (it’s not every day you meet someone who loves fitness and health as much as you do). It was because of this team that I met my husband. And on 9.11.10 when I looked out at all our friends and family it was this team that filled the audience.
And Monday when I start my new job all of that is gone. Not the people. Definitely not the people. They’ll be around forever. But this chapter of my life. And that is scary. This new job is big. And different. And out of my comfort zone. And I won’t know the answers. And I will fail. And I will struggle. And I will be pushed. But I know that this is the right decision. That this is the right thing for me, for my career. And once I get through the first couple weeks and the first-day-of-school butterflies leave my stomach it will be exciting – this new challenge, this new group, this new team. And I hope that 5.5 years from now I get to look back and feel the exact same way about my new group that I feel about the one I’m leaving right now.
And as my pal Sandra Bullock says in Hope Floats,
Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it’s everything in between that makes it all worth living.
So as I seal up my last box and send my final email tomorrow, I get to leave, taking with me some awesome memories because everything between the time I started in February 2007 and the time I’m leaving in October 2012 has been one crazy, awesome ride. Thank you to everyone who made that possible. I would not be where I am today without every single one of you.